“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.” ― C. JoyBell C
“I am not happy with what I am doing”. “Everything happens for a reason”. “I want to feel excited when I wake up in the morning and spring into action”.
How many times have you heard things like this or said it to yourself? I bet many times. Easier said than done, right? What is this change that we crave for?
You cannot change what you refuse to confront!
So here I am, looking forward to an interesting transition, a course correction. From working full time for 20 years,to becoming a blog writer. Some might ask, “Why this sudden shift?” No, it is not sudden. Searching internally, I feel alive with the change. I look forward to the unknown. The reason to wake up every morning and say that another adventure awaits! Its an emotion felt for many years. Have I done anything about it? Yes, changed jobs, moved houses, changed countries. And this emotion still continued to haunt me.
My Son, wanted me to write a book. I was always discussing with him about “Pace of life”. That its too fast. My little brain was trying to keep up with new technology, and my inner voice was telling me if I don’t, I am going to be left behind. Reading about the change is great, understanding without application is not.
What makes one feel ALIVE? I get this feeling that I need to keep moving and doing things that inspire me to be myself. Engaging in something new, not having to fall into a pattern. I have adhered to norms of society…boring at times. And have also gone out of my comfort zone to do things that were not successful. Happy, that rejection has made me stronger and has given me the courage to say that I am going to start writing a blog. Letting go of my fear that I will not be able to write, was the first step towards this blog.
Then of course came the learning. The fun parts, like, coming up with a name, what colors to use and how the layout should be. It started becoming interesting. Finding a name, and what to write took 2 years! Or more likely my procrastination. Better late than never, right? I knew, I wanted to write about travel, and places, and people I meet and all that I experience. But, I was only an armchair traveller, being tied to my business for the
last ten years. One week vacations were not enough. I wanted to be permanantly on vacation. Only then I would find the time to write. Write peacefully, meaningfully and diligently.
Once this decision was clear, things started falling in place, like finding one piece of the jigsaw puzzle that fits and the rest comes together. The idea got planted, while vacationing in the Bahamas. We stayed in a timeshare apartment for the first time. A small space completely fitted with everything one needs. I was in paradise.
Relaxing in one of the gazebo’s over the ocean, watching sting rays float by like they were part of our lives. I was free and felt carefree. That is how I wanted to feel for the rest of my life. The seed had started germinating. Discussions with Hemant, on how to change course were fun, feisty and fabulous. I was on the track for my course correction.